Who are We?
Margaret Keaveny
There was at that time a girl called Maggie living south of the great river, and searching for the Way, she read these words.
In the beginning was Who and Who was on TV, and Who was TV. And the Traveller moved across the land, and often through the quarry, and his scarf was long. His symbol was this, a blue box, now you see it, now you don't.
And in the sky a gleaming chariot was seen moving through the firmament. And within it a great leader boldly went from woman to woman (what is this love of which you speak?) and his shirt was rent asunder. And other chariots followed, led by the bald one, and the black one, and the woman with the annoying voice, and that one off Quantum Leap and it was good (some of the time anyway).
And Tolkien begat Eddings, who begat Feist, who begat Hambly, who begat Hobb and a multitude of others, until the shelves groaned with trilogies.
And many other signs and wonders were seen in those days.
A farm boy rose up to become a mighty warrior. He battled and threw down the dark side, and these are not the droids you're looking for.
A man and woman went out from the land of FBI and sought the truth (it's out there), and their torches burnt brightly.
Three wise men, Adams, Pratchett and Rankin, brought gifts of very funny books and there was much sniggering on the Tube. And later Fforde did the same.
A girl slew (and sometimes dated) the creatures of the night in the sunny dale and averted the Apocalypse … a lot.
And a band of travellers was cast out onto an island with wailing and gnashing of teeth, but plenty of beauty products, and the confusion was great.
And then came the Lord of Dream, and his name was Gaiman of Neverwhere (we're not worthy, we're not worthy).
And the heroes and heroines and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were too numerous to mention and some fell and were cancelled before their time. But a few rose again to continue the battle. Shiny.
And the Traveller returned from out of the Wilderness and the rejoicing was great.
And all these signs and wonders led the one called Maggie to the sign of the Horseshoe, where like minded pilgrims gathered, and there was room at the inn.
And here ends the Book of Why I Go To LOTNA.
("the first part of an exciting new fantasy trilogy" SFX)